No Stereotypes Here

Archive for August 2009

For as long as I can remember, my mother has kept this saying on a wooden plaque in the laundry room, which is also the entrance from the garage. So we would go past it every time we went into that room. It doesn’t say who it’s by, so forgive me for not referencing. If someone does know, send a comment my way and I’ll check it out.

According to Alexander Cheezem, the poem was written by Dorothy Law Nolte, and is the 1969 version of her poem, which the many versions can be seen Here

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to by shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.


Anna Kennedy has written a very fine article on her fight to her son’s special education, which was posted on (Surprise!) AoA. I am pleased, because it is a positive-attitude mother who demonstrates strength and determination to ensure that her sons have a high quality education and life, without the dramatic flair that I have often found on AoA. In short, an inspirational piece on making a difference.

You know how they say that great minds think alike? Well, I just became aware today that this blog, No Stereotypes Here, has a similar url as well as the same layout theme as Sirenity’s “Tragedy? Not in this house!”, or

I was TOTALLY unaware of this when I started this up. Now I’m going to go have my giggle fit, okay? 😀

Just wanted to post a line about what I’m currently doing.

Right now, I’m reading Dr. Paul Offit’s book “Autism’s False Prophets”.

I am composing an article on what self-advocacy means in the disability community, especially in post-secondary education.

I am putting together the introduction to a series to define terms in Neurodiversity.

I am trying to make contacts in the local Autism Ontario chapter to try and get a screening of “Adam” sometime. I don’t know whether it is possible at the Cineplex, so I am going to try at the screening room. If both fails, I will wait until it is out on DVD and book a theater, most likely out of my own pocket.

Also, tomorrow I go to the sleep clinic for my entry appointment (I have sleep apnea, moderate-severe) and an exam. This weekend, I go visit my brother in New Brunswick.

I have been asked by an autism service provider, Kerry’s Place Autism Services, whether I’d like to display some of my artwork at a meeting(?) in October. I look forward to it. They also are very interested in my articles here. To those from KPAS who are reading this **waves** THANKS!!

edit: oops. fixed the broken link to Kerry’s Place. Thanks Karen! 😀

Estée Klar wrote a piece on her blog about the Ontario Accessibility Act. I quote her on the specifics:

By 2012, accommodating disabled persons in Ontario will become mandatory for all non profit organizations. Accommodating people with disabilities will be enforced, and this will make it necessary for all not for profit agencies — which includes hospitals, schools, religious organizations, transportation services and the like — to be able to utilize and/or make available Assistive Devices for non verbal individuals as well as other equipment, environmental provisions and the deliverance of the “products and services” (which entails what we commonly refer to as accommodation) for a diverse population of individuals with various needs.

Under the Ontarian Accessibiltiy Act which became law in 2005, non profits will all have to comply by 2012 and other businesses by 2025.

Her entry can be found here as “Ontario’s Accessibility Act”

Being in agreement, I felt little need to comment, but then decided that putting in my two cents is part of what I do. 😀

Hi. I’m looking forward to this. I am one of those that had a hard time accepting accommodations in school settings. I saw it as singling me out for bullying, as well as “cheating”, since I didn’t understand that accommodations are to help “level the playing field” so that it’s fair and so that I have the tools to be able to show that I did learn what was being taught in class.

Accommodations outside of the classroom allow people to communicate in a manner that better suits them, be able to access the same services as others, and be able to interact in society. That’s what accommodations are.

For a more visible disability, it is widely accepted to accommodate for them. I’m talking about ramps and lowered sinks for wheelchair users, allowing blind dogs into restaurants, malls and other settings, hearing aids and communication devices for people with impaired hearing (please note, I do not know the preferred terms that these people would rather I use, so please excuse my ignorance and maybe, could you educate me?).
For less obvious disabilities, such as Learning Disabilities, parts of autism and others, accommodations should be just as acceptable. However, we have a habit of being made invisible because we don’t look very disabled. But we are. For example, it is a lot easier for me to type this than it is for me to say it, even though I am considered a verbal autistic. So this computer and keyboard that I’m using is an accommodation. Accommodations aren’t to be used as excuses to not try, but rather, to build on strengths to overcome weaknesses that otherwise impair ability.

So. I am looking forward to this, and hope that this will help to make changes in society to be more accepting and understanding for people with disabilities.

Now that I think about it, I should probably have included hearing impaired and maybe blind in the invisible disability category. Without their devices and, in the case of the blind, walking stick-thing-I-don’t-know-the-name-of and/or seeing dog, these people look “normal”.

And I should know better too. One of my roommates was legally blind, meaning her sight was so bad that even corrective lenses could not fully help. If I remember correctly, it was one eye, so she also had very very little, if any, depth perception. To those who didn’t know, she looked “normal”. Well, normal in that she didn’t look disabled or blind; we’re all geeks in that apartment.

Anyways. But the point of my comment remains.

Also posted on LJ. Edited for grammar

This is a response to the post on the Age of Autism that Crystal Engler wrote called United We Stand, Divided We Fall” on August 2, 2009. Or, as her blog has titled “Don’t Fuck With Me Fellas, This Ain’t My First Time at the Rodeo”.

Dear Crystal Engler,

In your post, you ask about the “great divide that sets the autism community apart”, stating that you don’t want to fight, and want us all to get along since we are all working in the best interests for autistic family members. To quote:

“On various levels, we’re extremely different. But at the root of it all, like it or not, we share something. We share autism. No matter our differences, we should cast the weapons aside and ceasefire for the “greater good.” By that, I mean the health and welfare of the autism generation to come.”

This is very admirable. I hate fighting too and dislike the conflict in the autism community. Autism can be very challenging, both for the parents and family members, and for the children. The old saying “It takes a village to raise a child” comes to mind. As a community, we should be working together.

However, as an ND, I do feel compelled to point out the reasons why there is a conflict. This is so that you can understand “the parents who blast those of us who are working for a recovery”, and those whom you did not acknowledge in your article, the autistic people who also embrace Neurodiversity. This is so that you can understand where we are coming from, as the first step to overcoming conflict is understanding.

The main and obvious difference is our beliefs in what causes autism. Basically, it is a difference between believing that vaccines and/or toxins/heavy metals causes autism and that genetics causes autism. Your side believes autism is a physical illness, we believe it’s a natural wiring of the human brain. I’m very sure that we are both very much aware in the particulars, so I won’t go into great detail about this.

To me, this belief is not an issue of conflict. At least, it shouldn’t be. It is a belief. It is like comparing the different beliefs in Christian churches. One church believes that communion bread and “wine” actually becomes the flesh and blood of Christ once swallowed. Another church believes that it is a metaphor, but acts as a reminder to the sacrifice that Jesus gave for them. While maintaining different beliefs, both churches are still Christian.

The point I’m trying to make from the above example is that we need to focus on precisely why we each believe that the others’ belief is wrong. So stepping past the differences in causation beliefs to the result of these beliefs. This is what most likely causes “many anti-biomed parents who are hell-bent on trashing Jenny McCarthy and others like her” to post the “foaming at the mouth” and “ranting” blogs you mentioned.

The result: the actions we take in our beliefs.

Now, I don’t doubt that you, Crystal, or any other “biomed” parents, love their children. Of course you love your children. That’s why we all are working so hard, and why both of our sides are so heated in this conflict. We want our precious children to be happy. We want them to be healthy. We want them to be safe. We want to help them learn, to grow up as good people and live long, happy lives.

The difference is “How” we go about this.

In your article, you describe “mixing a month’s worth of supplements for my son’s biomedical interventions” in your kitchen, while your “hands bled from crushing hundreds of supplements” and wearing protective equipment. The question you ask while doing this is “How far would you go to recover your child?” and you answer yourself with “Me? I’m going all the way.”

You portray the image of a valiant, courageous and determined mother, who loves her child so very much to put everything she has into “recovering” your “physically ill” son.


We watch as you mix those supplements, donned in your protective gear, as your hands bleed. We watched as Francesco Martinizi died in an HBOT chamber explosion, HBOT being a treatment also used to help “recover” autistic children. We watched as Abubakar Tariq Nadama died from Chelation. We watch as many parents write articles and blog entries that describe their lives as being a complete nightmare, blaming it on autism.

And we ask, “How does this help an autistic person?”

This is the question that we are always asking “How does this help an autistic person?” When we look into the various resources, when we read studies (both the ones you claim to suppose your beliefs as well as the ones that support ours), purchase expensive therapy tools, pay for expensive services and find sometimes complicated ways to teach and help our children, we ask “How does this help my child?”

We ask “How does this help an autistic person” when autism is compared to cancer and diabetes, especially in response to our own posts, articles and blogs. You have done this, in particular:

I’m going to explain my side of the story once, and only once. This is why I do what I do. This is why I’m a biomed mom. I recently read a blog entry from a ranting ND. I pictured her foaming at the mouth, saying something about accepting our children the way they are. Shouldn’t we be happy with our healthy kids? Remember the “up” side of autism.
Oh, that’s special. Is there an “up” side to childhood cancer? What about juvenile diabetes? Yes, I believe my son’s autism stems from the vaccines. He’s physically ill. Chronic viruses, bacteria, yeast, heavy metals…you know the list.

This is what we do, what we ask, when we read articles such as yours, when we read comments and blog posts of biomed parents who slander and insults us, and who do, actually, publicly rave on a regular basis “about how neurodiverse mothers should be fighting for their children.”

We ask “How does this help autistic people?”

That is the judging line in which we hold all treatments, therapies, accommodations, supports and tools up to, including your “biomed” supplements and whatnot. And we find your “biomed” treatments to be very lacking.

You see, the difference between our beliefs have lead us to different attitudes about autism, which then result in our different actions towards autism. While you, as loving parents, do everything you can to “recover” your children from being “physically ill”, we as loving parents and individuals do everything we can to help our children and fellow autistics to overcome and navigate around the particular challenges we have. Yes, we have a common interest, which is autism, but other than that, we share very little.

So, if we are to both “cast the weapons aside and ceasefire”, we need to be able to have resources that we can offer each other and share. While your professed desire to end the conflict between the two sides is very nice, a serious attempt to unify the community would be able to point out the qualities and resources that each side can offer to the other. After being able to understand each other, mutual offerings is the next step.

Therefore, Crystal, the question is this: what can each side offer the other?

signed with hope,

Originally posted on LJ on August 1, 2009

So I found this post on Twitter through Autisable:

“Dr. Newmark reveals the truth about autism causes, symptoms & treatments —>”

Followed it to, which I’ve checked out before. It’s a total scam. It mixes standard information you can get from the library with “bio-medical” quackery, such as Thimerosal causing autism, the whole sch-bang. And of course, it comes with ALL these extras. Never mind it never tells you who these people actually are, or gives ANY sort of information into their qualifications, just a general anecdote story with a “good news! WE KNOW THE TRUTH THAT CAN HELP YOU!!!”

aka, SCAM!!!!!!

So I go to close the tab, and this lovely little “DON’T LEEEEEEEEEAVE” window pops up, as well as a “live chat” window. ha ha, riiiiiiight. First time, I watch the program run through it’s dialogue, and then close. I post this post on my Twitter:

“a warning to all autism & autistic people; this site is a scam: DON’T TRUST IT!!!”

then I think, “let’s see whether I can mess with it a little”, because I’m in that kind of mood.

I go back and not even read through the page again, click to leave… window!!

okay, to be honest, my first response that I typed in was “fuck off you scam” to which it replied: “This is absolutely not any type of scam in any way shape or form. Also, this is not a “get rich quick” scheme. Simply apply yourself as instructed and you will succeed.”

I leave. Then come back, half wondering whether I’ve been logged or something… nope. Here’s the chat in it’s entirety:

Scott Says: Today only, you get $10 off Autism Symptoms & Treatments Ebook. Isn’t your child’s future worth $9? But this is only available today, so get yours here now! Simply CLICK HERE to take advantage of this special offer. AND this offer is only available through this chat.

Scott Says: But you better hurry! This offer won’t last very long. Simply CLICK HERE to get your special offer.

Scott Says: Just to let you know, we offer a full 100% money back guarantee so you can purchase with complete and total confidence. If you don’t like our product, we will refund the full purchase price! Are you interested?

Scott Says: Okay, I have to move on now … here’s your last chance! CLICK HERE to get your special offer.

You: um, I think this is a scam

Scott Says: This is absolutely not any type of scam in any way shape or form. Also, this is not a “get rich quick” scheme. Simply apply yourself as instructed and you will succeed.

You: no, it’s a scam since Thimerosal doesn’t cause autism

Scott Says: This is absolutely not any type of scam in any way shape or form. Also, this is not a “get rich quick” scheme. Simply apply yourself as instructed and you will succeed.

You: and Thimerosal still doesn’t cause autism

Scott Says: Sorry, I cannot find an answer to your question. But if you enter your name and email below and type the word “help” into the chat, I will have Scott contact you as soon, usually within an hour during business hours in EST.

You: you’re a computer, aren’t you?

Scott Says: Sorry, I cannot find an answer to your question. But if you enter your name and email below and type the word “help” into the chat, I will have Scott contact you as soon, usually within an hour during business hours in EST.

You: night computer!

Scott Says: Sorry, I cannot find an answer to your question. But if you enter your name and email below and type the word “help” into the chat, I will have Scott contact you as soon, usually within an hour during business hours in EST.

😀 I WIN!!


  • None
  • Corina Becker: Hi Anonymous person who apparently doesn't feel like giving me a name to address, and thus hides behind anonymity!!! I never said the federal gov
  • Anonymous: I think that it is about time something is being done federally to help those with ASD to get much needed therapies for their disability and YES I do
  • Corina Becker: Hi Janine! Melody reads here? Awesome. I honestly had no idea she was aware of this blog.And thank you so much, I'm glad both of you like the bl